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Your alarm doesn't go off and you over sleep. A pushy driver cuts you off on the freeway. You can't find an important file. You miss a staff meeting because no one told you it was moved up. The kids leave their bikes in the driveway, again. The cable goes out and it's 4-3, the bottom of the ninth and bases loaded. That's it...you explode!
Although most people don't enjoy feeling angry it seems a lot of us are getting more angry, more of the time. The more complicated life gets -- the more people we interact with every day -- the more things happen that irritate, annoy, provoke, incense, madden, infuriate, and enrage us. Even the words we use to define the anger we feel are telling: We're boiling mad, we feel fried, we're really steamed, or at least simmering. What's happening inside us is that these innocent-sounding cooking analogies are becoming actual physical problems like back pain, headaches and heart attacks. We are literally stewing in our own juices.
Most people react to anger one of two ways: they either vent it or stuff it. If you're someone who lets it all hang out, you may find the temporary release and rush of adrenaline feels good. However, when you come down from your anger high, you're often more drained and irritable than before your outburst. You may also have to deal with the havoc caused by your anger-broken objects, hurt people and sometimes the law. Suppressing anger -- keeping it bottled up inside -has its consequences, too. You direct your anger inward-on yourself. And like a low grade fever, it's unhealthy and gradually depletes your energy.
Whether you're a steam engine or pressure cooker, each angry episode only prolongs and deepens the distress. Accumulated over time, anger can depress you, burn you out, make you sick, or eventually kill you.
Don't be victim to your anger. Rather, master it! Here are three tips to get back to an 'even keel':
- Notice how you respond emotionally to everyday situations, especially the habitual ones.
- Take mini-breaks to focus on things you appreciate or care about.
- Ask yourself if the energy you’re expending while reacting negatively to a situation is really worth the emotional and physical price.
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